The cancer kiss-off

As luck would have it, one of the first things that happened to me after my breast cancer diagnosis, was the guy I was seeing decided it was all too much for him. Or I was too much for him. Or something.

Anyway, since post-diagnosis dumping is a pretty common phenomenon (for women), I decided it might make an interesting story.  My piece, “Cancer kiss-off:  getting dumped after diagnosis” went live on Today/ last week.  Here’s how it starts:

Getting diagnosed with breast cancer is bad enough. But getting dumped by the guy you’re seeing right afterwards is sort of like finding a piece of spoiled lettuce on your crap sandwich.

Granted, the guy I was dating wasn’t exactly husband — or even steady boyfriend — material; it was far too early in the game for that. But there was something there. Until things started getting “heavy.” Then, not only was the “something” gone, so was he.

Unfortunately, I’m not alone when it comes to the cancer kiss-off.    

When Cindy Wine was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago, she came home from her first radiation treatment to an empty house.

“My husband said he couldn’t go with me — he was too busy at work,” says the 55-year-old former radio host from Indianapolis. “But when I got home, all of his stuff was gone. I felt like somebody had punched me in the gut.”

For the rest of the story, click here.


3 Responses to “The cancer kiss-off”

  1. 1 Donny Peters October 14, 2011 at 7:20 am

    I think you are an amazing woman and person to not only go through what you have, but to be able to personalize it and share with others so that they can experience it from a different perspective and maybe get a better understanding of dealing with breast cancer. Saw your article on MSNBC and think you are handling it well! Thanks for being and sharing you!

  2. 2 valleycat1 October 14, 2011 at 8:14 am

    I am a 2x breast ca survivor whose husband never considered bailing. The first dx came just 2 years into our marriage. He doesn’t find caregiving a natural response, but was very clear he wanted me to get whatever treatment needed to survive. None of my friends or relatives who have also battled major diseases were left either.

    That said, I’d like to see some hard numbers on the cancer kiss-off. All I can find here is that women are 6 times more likely to be left than men are. But is it a significant actual number or percentage? One/1000 versus 6/1000 is one thing, 100/1000 versus 600/1000 is quite different.

  3. 3 Henri (@TheNCRoadRunner) October 16, 2011 at 6:40 am

    All I can say, “He musta been a jerk”…….
    There ARE good guys out there that are not stupid, really!

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What’s the story?

Meet Diane Mapes, your friendly neighborhood freelance writer. My beats include health (with an emphasis on cancer prevention, treatment and survivorship) and lifestyle and singles issues, but I also love writing about history, natural history, pop culture and TV/film. On this site, you'll find links to stories, praise for my writing (*blush*) and the odd bit of social commentary about the single life. Also here, a few shameless plugs for my books (hint: see links below). Have fun, glad you're here and hope to hear from you soon.

Oh! And if you're looking for my breast cancer blog, go to Double_Whammied

Check out my books!

How to Date in a Post-Dating World A dating manual for the modern, mangled single.

Single State of the Union
Single women speak out on life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

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October 2011
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