The cancer kiss-off

As luck would have it, one of the first things that happened to me after my breast cancer diagnosis, was the guy I was seeing decided it was all too much for him. Or I was too much for him. Or something.

Anyway, since post-diagnosis dumping is a pretty common phenomenon (for women), I decided it might make an interesting story.  My piece, “Cancer kiss-off:  getting dumped after diagnosis” went live on Today/ last week.  Here’s how it starts:

Getting diagnosed with breast cancer is bad enough. But getting dumped by the guy you’re seeing right afterwards is sort of like finding a piece of spoiled lettuce on your crap sandwich.

Granted, the guy I was dating wasn’t exactly husband — or even steady boyfriend — material; it was far too early in the game for that. But there was something there. Until things started getting “heavy.” Then, not only was the “something” gone, so was he.

Unfortunately, I’m not alone when it comes to the cancer kiss-off.    

When Cindy Wine was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago, she came home from her first radiation treatment to an empty house.

“My husband said he couldn’t go with me — he was too busy at work,” says the 55-year-old former radio host from Indianapolis. “But when I got home, all of his stuff was gone. I felt like somebody had punched me in the gut.”

For the rest of the story, click here.

3 Responses to “The cancer kiss-off”

  1. 1 Donny Peters October 14, 2011 at 7:20 am

    I think you are an amazing woman and person to not only go through what you have, but to be able to personalize it and share with others so that they can experience it from a different perspective and maybe get a better understanding of dealing with breast cancer. Saw your article on MSNBC and think you are handling it well! Thanks for being and sharing you!

  2. 2 valleycat1 October 14, 2011 at 8:14 am

    I am a 2x breast ca survivor whose husband never considered bailing. The first dx came just 2 years into our marriage. He doesn’t find caregiving a natural response, but was very clear he wanted me to get whatever treatment needed to survive. None of my friends or relatives who have also battled major diseases were left either.

    That said, I’d like to see some hard numbers on the cancer kiss-off. All I can find here is that women are 6 times more likely to be left than men are. But is it a significant actual number or percentage? One/1000 versus 6/1000 is one thing, 100/1000 versus 600/1000 is quite different.

  3. 3 Henri (@TheNCRoadRunner) October 16, 2011 at 6:40 am

    All I can say, “He musta been a jerk”…….
    There ARE good guys out there that are not stupid, really!

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What’s my story?

I'm a former freelance writer, now gainfully employed at Fred Hutch (views and f-bombs all my own).

I write about health and health care; cancer research and the cancer experience; dating, lifestyle and singles issues and lots of other stuff including humor and fiction and a few songs here and there.

Book info below.

Looking for my breast cancer blog? Go to doublewhammied

Where are my books?

How to Date in a Post-Dating World A dating manual for the modern, mangled single.

Single State of the Union
Single women speak out on life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

Fifty Shades of Brains
Sex. Zombies. Really annoying present tense narration.

Follow me on Twitter!

October 2011

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