Do you measure up?

What do women want in men? According to a new online dating site, it’s euphemisms! Or rather, men who are “above average in their manhood.” Yes, just when you thought niche dating sites couldn’t get any weirder (MimePassions.com, SingleNudist.com, IBS Singles – need I say more?), along comes 7orbetter.com, a dating site where “size matters.”

The site, which is free, is operated by an outfit called New Life Ventures Inc., which also runs SugarDaddie.com, a site “where the classy, attractive and affluent meet.” 

Hmmm, I’m sensing a theme here. And it’s not Lara’s Song, that uber-romantic melody from Dr.  Zhivago.

So why does this site exist? Because apparently women just can’t come out and ask a guy his dick size at dinner. “For men interested in women, it is quite easy to see if the woman’s breast size is to his liking or not, or even the shape and size of her derriere,” the website tells us. “Unfortunately, because of how society is, it is very inappropriate to ask a man immediately how big his penis is or even if he is uncircumcised or not. A properly behaved woman that is respectful would never ask such a question.”

Thanks to 7orbetter, though, a properly behaved woman — or man (the site is open to gays, too) – can now surf around their website until they find a “perfect match.”  What a relief for singles everywhere!  No more wasting “days, weeks or maybe months” only to be “disappointed with what they find.” As the site puts it, “No more wasted time, no more guessing, hoping or praying that the guy has what it takes to please you.”

I’m still up in the air (so to speak) as to whether this site is an incredibly clever send-up of society’s increasingly shallow nature (and/or that whole male insecurity thing) or whether it’s the real meal deal. I’ve surfed around and it looks legit, but I haven’t joined so I can’t say that I’ve checked out any of the “members.” Speaking of which, the nature of the site makes for some pretty interesting terms and conditions. My favorite passage is on “member disputes” and how 7orbetter.com is not liable for any issues that may “arise between members.”

What can I say? 7orbetter makes me act 9 or worse.